I never imagined how frustrated I would become navigating my own city with a stroller, as well as others (cough, Toronto) and why citizens don’t demand more from their local businesses and government to provide a standard of access that makes it easy for anyone with a mobility issue to go where they want to.

I have visited countless stores with no push button door access (even a children’s store!). My husband has tried to change the baby on many occasions only to find out that the restaurant does not have a change table in the men’s washroom. And often times the change areas leave much to be desired, namely cleanliness (but that’s another post). When we went to the Elmira Syrup Festival in April, there was only one family portable washroom, and you needed a hazmat suit to go in it. And most recently, during a trip to the Eaton Centre, I could not find the lone family washroom so I just gave up and changed the baby in the car.

One of my biggest pet peeves is the local Starbucks. It’s the only coffee shop within walking distance and there are no automatic door buttons to help me wield my stroller in and out. It is so infuriating that it is actually a deterrent to visit there anymore. Add in the fact that there is little to no space to navigate the stroller from the point of sale to the coffee bar, or find a seat where I can easily leave the stroller beside me, that I just don’t find the latte is worth the effort.

I want a place that I can go that is easy to get in and out of, and pleasant to hang out in, and that both parents can tend to baby in.

I want a parent-friendly coffee shop that has room to lock a stroller beside me, and where I will not be apologizing for careening my stroller into innocent bystanders.

But above all, I want a standard of accessibility because I’m not the only one who can’t get into that Starbucks. As paying customers we deserve better than to hope for a push button. As citizens we deserve better standards that are enforced by our government and adhered to by our local businesses.

What’s your accessibility beef?

With friends Mike and Laura expecting in less than two months, I wanted to provide them with a care package of all the things Craig and I found extra helpful. Some of the items we had purchased ourselves in advance, others had been given to us at our shower and some even brought over after baby was born. Regardless of when we got them, having those items meant we didn’t have to race off to Shoppers Drug Mart to buy them. For things like a spare bottle, or even a bottle brush, I often wondered what we would have done if we didn’t have them on hand for an urgent feeding.

So here is the list of things that really made a difference (and that Mike and Laura received!):

1. Wash cloths – You can never have enough of these little cloths. Burp cloths are great, but the small wash cloths give you precision clean-up for spit-up and drool. They won’t protect your outfit, but they will help you easily sponge off that third outfit of the day and the car seat straps.
2. Bottle – Even if you intend to exclusively breastfeed, there’s no telling when a crisis might strike and you will need a bottle. We needed one early on and if we didn’t have that little 4 oz AVENT in the cupboard, who knows how many tears would have been shed. Through the advice of a friend, I now lean towards the Playtex VentAire bottle for its great shape, unique venting, and ease of putting together .
3. Syringes – In my experience, feeding is a science and not as natural as some make it out to be. So be prepared in case feeding doesn’t go as planned. Having a set of syringes on hand gives you the flexibility to deliver expressed breast milk or formula to your baby (if advised by your practitioner). This medicine set from Safety 1^st is ideal.
4. Binky (Pacifier/Soother) – We didn’t anticipate using a pacifier, but our friend Amy brought a Playtex Binky as a gift when she came to meet our baby. Thank goodness she did, because a few days later when baby was screaming, we ripped open that package and got instant relief. No matter what brand is in his mouth, it is now affectionately referred to as the “Binky”.
5. Travel size wipes – You often receive lots of plastic containers to carry travel amounts of wipes in, but I found they let too much air in and dried the wipes up. The Pampers travel sizes (pouch) run about $2 a pack and are perfect for keeping in the diaper bag. The seal re-seals easily and I’ve never had a dry wipe.
6. Bottle cleaner – Remember that spare bottle I mentioned? Having a dedicated Munchkin brand brush that dispenses soap to clean it is a great piece of kitchen equipment, especially if you’re only using a couple of bottles and can’t wait for them to go through the dishwasher. I’d also recommend a sterilizer!
7. Plastic spoons – You might need to spoon or cup feed your baby, or give them probiotics. Having a few plastic spoons designed for baby’s small mouth really helps.
8. Dish drying mat – For all those bottles you have on the go, an absorbent microfiber dish mat keeps your countertop dry and your equipment organized.
9. Newborn or 0-3 outfits – Babies are small, and we actually had to buy sleepers and a few outfits because we didn’t have nearly enough newborn outfits. Keep the tags on them and then if you don’t use them, you can return them. Carter’s sleepers are soft and affordable.
10. Sudocrem – Little travel sizes of diaper cream are perfect for the mummy and daddy bags, or if you have multiple change areas in your house.
11. Tylenol for infants – Bless our friends who gave us this must-have. When baby had his two month shots, we were spared having to race out to buy this.

What’s your ultimate baby gift?

I knew there were a couple of things that had to get done, like cleaning out the fridge for the compost pick-up the next day, replenishing those items at the local market, and last minute correspondence for the @ClairHills park workshop being held that night. Somewhere in there we needed to fit in vacuuming the dog hair, tummy time, a serious nap and making a traditional English dinner for Daddy… what else but bangers and mash.

On the kitchen table was a list of things to do. None of the aforementioned were on it. So when I found myself feeling pretty good by 6pm knowing that we had accomplished so much and there were still things being checked off my mental to-do-list, it occurred to me that maybe that piece of paper has the wrong information.

What if that piece of paper had written on it everything I had already done?

The done-it-list. A visual salute to all the things I’ve accomplished. A daily-resume.

It makes sense to me, as I’m admittedly one of those people who pads her own to-do-list (ya, i know you do it too … you list something you’re about to do or have already done and cross it off with sheer glee). So why not make that the ritual, instead of worrying about all the unchecked items on a list; unload your mental to-do-list and applaud yourself for everything you’ve done. #genius

But what if I forget something? Fear not, that’s what fridge magnets are for. That’s how I remembered to renew my license plate stickers. Tacked to the top of the fridge, the form was at eye level so I couldn’t miss it. You always remember it too because it’s the biggest slap in the face on your birthday (Happy Birthday, please pay $82).

Don’t forget the power of electronic calendars on your smartphone, computer, tablet, etc, either. I use the reminder feature to set realistic timelines and deadlines for events and tasks.

So here I go, about my day with no paper list. I’ll remember to go to the workshop at 9:30am, the Baby and Me class at 2pm, and somewhere in between I’ll find a birthday gift for a friend. And by the end of the day, I won’t look at the piece of paper and think “Crap, I didn’t get that done again”, I’ll look at the piece of paper and say, “Look what I got done!”

I got this blog done and it wasn’t even on my list <crosses off the list>.

While our son was tummy down on his activity mat, I saw him start to rock his little body from side to side. I realized this could be the start of something special, so in an effort not to miss anything, I took five steps into the kitchen to turn off the kettle that was about to whistle, only to return to a baby boy flat on his back. He looked quite content and I burst out laughing, congratulating him on his acrobatics and scratching my head wondering, “Did I really have him on his tummy?”

So to confirm I didn’t imagine this rolling baby, I did what any parent would do and I returned him to his starting position poised with my BlackBerry Z10 ready to record. It took about 30 seconds of encouragement before he rolled over once more, another contented look on his face. And of course, I didn’t even have to show Daddy the video, because when Daddy got home I simply popped our little one on his mat and said “Show Daddy your new trick” and he just went from prone to supine in a matter of seconds.

Our son had demonstrated a strong neck and head support early on, pushing his upper body off the ground with his clenched fists and looking at something interesting, like the wall. It was only until I read up on the developmental milestone of rolling over that I realized how significant it was. For the majority of babies, this milestone is reached at four or five months, not two.

Our baby is batman.

Brag rights and jokes aside, we all know (or at least should remind ourselves), that milestones are reached when our babies are ready to reach them. Our son may be an early roller, but who knows how long it will take him to teethe, or crawl or walk (I honestly did have a dream last night that he was walking … true story!). The most important thing is providing opportunities like “tummy time” to help them reach those milestones.

Here’s a handy little chart about milestones for 0 to 6 months courtesy of Baby Center.

And remember, have that video camera at the ready and get an electric kettle.

Since giving birth however, I’ve had to rely much more on the services and expertise of the local health care professionals. It’s a combination of experiencing the unexpected such as feeding troubles and simply not having enough time to do my own research.

Granted, technology, particularly the BlackBerry Z10 makes it easy to read articles, blogs and search questions using just one hand.  And once I’ve scared myself with the medical information online (come on, we all do it… Google an ailment and reel back in horror when the results turn up), it’s time to seek the right kind of answers from the experts, in person.

Getting medical advice can be a scary process. I’m the first to admit that the fear of the unknown can mean a delay in seeking advice, but the satisfaction of finding out root causes and treatments, is making me more proactive to seek help sooner rather than later.

What’s on par if not better is when you get help from people that really care. I have four great local examples to highlight just what I mean:

1. KW Midwifery – as part of their service they offer clients an emergency line that they can call after hours to reach a midwife. You call and submit your request to an operator and moments later, you get a call back. Having used this during pregnancy for emergencies, when I went into labour and even after for a question about my baby’s health, it was always fast and informative.
2. Cambridge Pediatric and Breastfeeding Clinic – we were referred there by KW Midwifery to have our baby’s tongue tie corrected. We were impressed by the expertise of the lactation consultant who provided us with theoretical and practical knowledge about the procedure. She extended a warm invitation to come back any time if I was having difficulties, and so I did, once again, absorbing more of her expertise.
3. Beechwood Wellness Pharmacy – not my regular pharmacy, I had to take a special prescription to them that mine could not fulfill. The staff recognized me by face upon my return later that day and even called different stores in search of a probiotic I had asked about, ultimately reserving one for me. I even had a sit down chat with the pharmacist to discuss probiotics even further. They made me feel like I was their most important customer.
4. Grand River Hospital Breastfeeding Support Services – if you’re a mum who delivers at Grand River Hospital, you can access the free services of qualified lactation consultants up to one month after the birth of your child. They not only helped me with proper positioning and latching, but they also pointed out the tongue tie.

With each experience, stress levels were reduced, knowledge was gained and a relationship was formed. I’m so appreciative of the local resources and the comfort they have provided to me as a new parent.

Please accept my apologies.

There has been very little time for anything, except looking after our beautiful baby boy. My husband and I are beyond sleep deprived, and each day I wonder how we haven’t just collapsed from sheer exhaustion. It’s hard work, at times quite stressful but when I see that incredible set of blue eyes stare deep into mine, or watch as my husband and baby cuddle on the couch, all the chaos of moments past fade away. In retrospect, it doesn’t matter what we haven’t done, what matters is what we have done.

So with no time, means no posts from this blogger (this one is a bit of anomaly). However, I’ve been enjoying reading great blogs shared through my Twitter stream. In the last 24 hours, I’ve read posts from @tjzmommy and @Clippo. While one shares a breakthrough moment after incredible loss, the other shares a candid and somewhat hilarious account of her breakfast.

They are two vastly different posts, yet each one touched me for its honesty. And it’s honesty that brings me here today, because I tell my readers, and myself, that right now it’s easier to read than it is to write.

I make no apology for that.

On January 26^th, my husband and I, along with our family and friends, celebrated the birth of our baby boy. It was an emotional rollercoaster that spanned nearly 17 hours, and resulted in an emergency c-section.

Since that, we have been spending every minute with our son. It is in fact, constant. And when  I chose the name Constant Mummy to brand my blog and all the social media pieces that tie into it (Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook), it wasn’t just a spin-off of my Constant Baker blog, because I knew the transition to motherhood would be life altering and automatically become a constant.

I have joked with friends that I am in the bubble, not even aware that it was SuperBowl week. This space that doesn’t let the usual details of life penetrate it (work, shopping, volunteering, finances, yes, even social media), means that I, along with my husband, are 100% devoted to the little man in our arms.

Sure I take occasional breaks (like this one), to catch up on a few things here and there, but that previous mentality that would keep me glued to a task for hours has faded. Whether it’s feeding, changing, dressing or simply cuddling with my boys, that’s the constant in my life.

Ours was today and not too different from any other ultrasound we’ve had, albeit the sonologist and I had to coax the baby to move a little because he’s fairly idle in the mornings. She offered me a Werther’s candy to help kick start (pun intended) the movements.

I giggled to myself knowing full well that a tiny Werther’s candy would not start his motor given my impressive sweet tooth. I’m sure baby (like his Mum) needs a bit more sugar than that! I politely accepted the candy and also said a cold glass of water might due the trick … and of course it did.

During this ultrasound, the sonologist collects data and imagery that will help a radiologist interpret and assign a score to the four variables: fetal breathing movements, fetal movements, fetal tone, and amniotic fluid volume. A score of 0 (absent) or 2 (present) is given for each of the four variables.* This test is really designed to determine whether the baby is at risk of fetal asphyxia or some other fetal complication, and is often combined with other methods of antenatal testing such as fetal movement counting, the cardiff technique, the sadovsky technique, and the non-stress test.* For more information about the scoring and aforementioned antenatal test methods, click here to read the Antenatal Fetal Assessment from the Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada. You can also click on the chart below to learn about the scoring criteria for the biophysical profile.*

Since a sonologist (or radiologist) is only taking the readings, they are not at liberty to discuss the outcome of the ultrasound with you. However, to see the baby’s heartbeat today thumping away on the screen, see him moving and feel him kicking throughout the biophysical, gave my husband and I a great deal of reassurance that this baby is doing just fine and simply taking his time!

Later today, we received a call from the midwife that said the biophysical results were perfect (8/8) and that everything was normal.

It’s a pretty good feeling when your kid aces his first test

–

* Antenatal Fetal Assessment. Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada (SOGC) Clinical Practice Guidelines (2000). http://www.sogc.org/guidelines/public/90e-cpg-june2000.pdf.

Please review the terms of use for Constant Mummy here.

The Mayo Clinic has a great summary as to why some pregnancies are overdue and also highlights the steps a medical practitioner will take in monitoring one. For example, this is my first pregnancy and I’m having a boy, which are reasons I might be more likely to have an overdue pregnancy. Previous overdue pregnancies, overdue pregnancies that run in the family, and obesity, are also other reasons a woman is more likely to be overdue.

An overdue pregnancy is not just a waiting game but a watching game too. An overdue mother is monitored closely to ensure she’s not at risk of preeclampsia (high blood pressure and excess protein in the urine). Midwives (or doctors) also continue to monitor fetal heart beat and may even schedule an ultrasound to check out how the baby is moving and the level of amniotic fluid.

There may come a time to induce labour and while inducing labour isn’t always on the to-do list for mothers-to-be (especially those with specific birth plans) there are sound medical reasons to do it to protect the health of both baby and mum. For more information on inducing labour, check out this information page on the Baby Center Canada website.

So at the end of another day, with no signs of labour, I can take comfort knowing that I meet some of the criteria for an overdue baby and that my midwife (who has already booked an ultrasound just in case) is monitoring my progress. Plus, I’ve got a little baby inside me who is moving regularly, which makes me confident and lets me know just how much he’s enjoying his extra long stay in the belly hotel.

The film was released in 2008 and produced by Ricki Lake and filmed by Abby Epstein. It explores America’s maternity care system, and provides an interesting comparison between hospital and midwifery care. I was loaned a copy from my prenatal fitness instructor and I’m really glad I watched it (and watched it again today on Netflix).

If I had watched this film before getting pregnant or in my early weeks of pregnancy, I probably would have been easily persuaded to go directly to a midwife and even consider a home birth. While it offers some explanation as to why a hospital birth with an OB or surgeon might be the way to go (abnormal pregnancy, high-risk, etc), it does paint a rather negative view of medical professionals who just want to intervene in order to deliver babies on a timed-schedule that they think is right or that gives them an opportunity to perform advanced procedures. The nurses pitocin conversations in the hallways of the maternity ward are particularly eye-opening, and it does start to make you think about whether some medical professionals are rushing a natural process.

My husband I actually selected a midwife because that’s what my GP recommended. He informed us that we could still have a hospital birth but receive a much better level of care with a midwife. He was right.

Looking at my medical papers (that I now carry in my purse at 40 weeks and 4 days), we’ve had 11 visits with our midwife. The average visit length is anywhere from a half hour to 45 minutes and the majority of that time is a dialogue between the three of us that involves learning about the stages of pregnancy and labour, and answering questions from both sides. We’ve been reassured about the process of labour, and encouraged by our midwife’s expertise who always has an answer or solution for everything from rib pain to how contractions will feel. Of course, we always get time to listen to the baby’s heartbeat and a proper measurement and blood pressure check.

Watching the documentary again today reaffirmed my sense of confidence in our choice to use a midwife, because we get the care and expertise we deserve, but we also get to deliver in a hospital which gives peace of mind if there is a problem that requires the support of a pediatrician or surgeon.

I won’t spoil the ending of the film, but if you have a chance to watch it, you’ll understand why I feel the way I do.

How did you feel after watching the Business of Being Born?